Welcome to this year’s first installment of Sisterly Advice, your favorite advice column! Read along as your sisters Shirley, Shelly, and Sheila answer some questions from the NDP student body.

“My friend likes the guy I have liked for years and he likes her back! How do I tell her to back off without hurting our friendship?” – Stressed Sara

Shirley: That’s a tough one, Sara. I’ve been in this situation before, so let me tell you the answer: ice cream. At this point, there’s not much you can do other than wallow in your feelings with ice cream, sad music, and a good, long cry.

Shelly: Well, this could go about two general directions. You can either tell her and bond over the fact that you both find this guy incredibly attractive and just both admire him from afar or you tell her and figure out if this guy is actually worth fighting over (let’s be real, he’s probably not). Talking it out doesn’t always work and even if that bridge burns then you have a great biased story to tell everyone that wants to know–who would side with the person who dumped a friend over a guy!?

Sheila: The most important thing to remember in this situation is to put your relationship with your friend before your feelings for this guy. As upsetting as it is, you don’t have the right to dictate your friend’s decisions, nor do you have the right to call dibs on a guy. This situation is difficult because of the betrayal you feel towards your friend. It’s extra painful because you feel like you opened up to your friend about your feelings for this guy, and now it feels like she’s turned around and taken something from you that you’ve really wanted for a long time. The difficult truth is that, although it feels like she is stealing him from you, you never had him in the first place. I understand how disappointed you are in this situation, but I’ll tell you right now that there is no point in making everyone unhappy. If you throw a fit about this, not only are you upset, but now so is your friend (and this guy). In the end he still doesn’t like you back, and nothing is solved. Instead, you should focus on what your attachment to this guy reveals about yourself and your self-worth. At this point, it’s time to put your own peace first. If I could tell you one thing, it would be to never spend your thoughts and energy on someone who does not care about you the same way. You deserve much better. You deserve someone who is truly and undeniably interested in you. My advice would be to let this guy and your friend like one another, date, and be whatever it is they may be together. You can and will find happiness elsewhere. Once you let go of your attachment to this guy, you are opening yourself up to new opportunities, new cute guys, and maybe even the perfect person for you. I know how much you want your friend to just hear you out and leave this guy behind, but the decision is ultimately hers to make. Whatever it may be, try not to hold it against her, as she is ultimately autonomous over her own life, and should be without apology. Instead, focus progressing your own life forward. You deserve much greater things. Thanks for your question; I hope this helps!

We hope you enjoyed this month’s edition of Sisterly Advice! Continue to submit your questions here.