Batman v Superman: ‘Yawn’ of Justice is a Knightmare.

For two and a half hours, you’re thrown into a world that gives off nothing but harsh, brooding vibes. Then cue confusing subplot after subplot, all of which lack depth and culminate in two grandiose fight scenes. It’s a super bat-bore.

The archetypal Man of Steel is portrayed as a Christ figure who also stirs up public controversy and incurs Batman’s wrath. Unfortunately, Henry Cavill makes Supes more of a sulky teenager with the personality of a stone pillar that’s destroyed when the two superheroes duke it out. As for Ben Affleck’s Caped Crusader, he’s more riveting than the lackluster Superman, but it could simply be because the film mainly operates through the conscience of the scowling vigilante. He’s got revenge on the brain after the Kryptonian causes the collapse of Wayne Tower in Man of Steel, which is recapped in the opening scene of BvS.

The unsettling villain Lex Luthor, who wishes to eradicate Superman with his “silver bullet” of kryptonite, offers the only frivolity in a humorless narrative. Jesse Eisenberg’s performance as the frenzied tech mogul plays the Brilliant Insanity card, and it’s the one semi-entertaining aspect of the film.

Gal Gadot may be Wonder Woman, but the treatment of the female characters is anything but wonderful. Lois Lane (Amy Adams) and Martha Kent (Diane Lane) serve as little more than damsels in distress. The strong-minded Senator Finch, played by Holly Hunter, is eventually silenced by the scheming, Nietzsche-quoting Luthor. And our female superhero, a welcome relief from the mundane macho men, is mostly a mysterious, foxy lady who first catches Batman’s eye and then gets tossed into the final battle.

Sure, the CGI effects are impressive, but they’re so overdone, like an attempt to make up for deficiencies in meaningful dialogue and coherent plot. Director Zack Snyder may as well have been a high school student who’s aware their essay is terrible, so they overcompensate by inserting any intelligent-sounding word they find on Thesaurus.com.

Who wins? Certainly neither of the superheroes, who fail to inspire the wonderment and awe that they have been known for igniting since the creation of the comic book universe. The audience scores a dull, nonsensical hodgepodge of over-the-top visuals and pseudo-deep ruminations on the inherent vice of mankind. Clearly, all Warner Bros. seems to be doing is setting up for Justice League and a DC cinematic universe, which—if this movie is any indication of how it’ll turn out—means Marvel could be the real winner.