What good does holding a grudge do? Will it make you happier? Can it solve problems? Will a grudge make you a better person? I don’t think so. I believe in forgiveness.
In December 2006, my extended family and I went to Mexico for Christmas break. The beginning of our vacation was great. It was my first time out of the country, and I was having an awesome time with my cousins. A day before Christmas we went shopping in the market. My dad began to have stomach pains, so he went back to the hotel room. No one thought anything of it; we were in another country and thought he had eaten some bad seafood for dinner the night before.
After the pain wouldn’t go away, we started to worry. My dad then visited the medical center at the hotel. The doctor told us that his condition was more serious than they could handle. My grandfather and mom took my father to the nearest ER. He was seen there, and the doctors told us he needed emergency surgery right away. My family was shocked. We called my dad’s doctor in the US to confirm the diagnosis. He said it was necessary, and it was too risky to fly home for the operation. That night, my father underwent surgery on his intestines. My mom, grandfather, and dad stayed a week later than planned because he was in the Intensive Care Unit. I had to go home with my grandmother, who temporarily took care of my brother and me. It was very difficult and scary to know that my parents were in another country under the care of doctors they just met. This was in addition to the fact that my dad could have died. He eventually recovered and is fine today.
During those few days, I felt so upset and angry. I didn’t understand why this had to happen to my family. It was even worse that I was supposed to be relaxing on Christmas. I was mad at God. What did our family do to deserve a tragedy? I had a hard time putting my faith in Him when I thought He had punished us. I didn’t want to accept that it could happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Eventually, I realized that holding a grudge about my frightening situation had no benefits. I learned how to forgive. Forgiveness is accepting things that have happened in the past and choosing not to dwell on them. Forgiving was important in that dark part of my life because it made the anger in my heart go away. I chose to not blame God and to forgive Him. Letting go made me happy. I realized I did not want to carry the weight of the event on my back forever. Forgiveness is one of the values I believe in most.
Sometimes it takes something tragic to learn a lesson. I recognized one of my core beliefs during a sad time. I discovered that grudges don’t make the situation better. In fact, they make it even worse. This helped me through a rough patch in my life. Believing in forgiveness made all the difference. I no longer feel angry at God for what happened five years ago. I have been able to see past the bad things and remember that I should be thankful for the good. It has made me more loving, happy, and grateful. I believe in forgiveness.