Happy Christmas Blazers! Today on November 26th, 2030, Mrs. Osmeyer has shared some pretty tubular rules that will be in effect as soon as you can say “Saddle Saddle on the wall who is the Preppiest of them all”! 

Rule 1: You can only wear purple polka dot knee high socks! Any student caught without the right socks will be sent to the UL gym closet to spend the night in the dark! 

Rule 2: Every time you see Mr. Bender you must very enthusiastically say “Good Morrow Bender Bro! Thou hast a very spiffy wardrobe”! If you fail to comply you will have a 20-page essay due on the difference between their, there, and they’re and how that affects Generation Alpha’s computational skills. 

Rule 3: Students must always eat one NDP Cafe chocolate chip cookie before doing the splits in the lunch line. It is very important that you gain the macromolecules necessary to serve you diva! 

Rule 4: The historic, monumental career of the GOAT Lebron James must be taught in every seminar class. Lebron James is the very foundation upon which our democracy is built, and respect must be shown to someone with so much aura. Anyone caught not paying attention to the Lebron lecture will be sentenced to listening to APT by Bruno Mars and Rose continuously for the rest of the school day! 

Rule 5: Hair can only be Pink and Yellow! Any hair with any other color except for a bright pink and bright yellow will be buzzed off!! You will fall victim to the buzz pandemic of the male species in 2025…. 

That is all we have time for before the clock strikes midnight. Sleep tight, let the bed bugs bite, and may you look fly by Prom night!! 

With Skibidi Aura, 

Mrs. Hodge